Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
