I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
