my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
high people should be assigned attendants
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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