why didn't you poke me back
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
