He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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