my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The power of my boobs compel you
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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