ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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