so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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