shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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