drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
