He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
