I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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