White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
