come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
