tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
