Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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