I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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