I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
