Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
