Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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