This is not my ceiling
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
