Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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