Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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