i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
