Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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