Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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