I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
