So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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