She said her name was "party"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
