I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
