I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drunk is not a location!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's on the porch naked. Help.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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