As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
