Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
