woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
