at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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