Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
