Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Terrible idea I love it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
