My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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