Just fell off a train. Bad.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
