Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
