I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
