are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
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