when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
