new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
