Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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