I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
