Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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