Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
