I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My ass is underappreciated
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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