Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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