I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
