I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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